You're Still Human
by Pervy Kouhai
Summary: Jean has dreams about a man he doesn't know. His past haunts him and leads him down a darker road where he might not have a second chance. Freckles. That's all he remembers from the dreams.
1. Chapter 1

_Chapter 1: All I Remember_

_A/N: Hello, I'm Pervy Kouhai! I love Jean and Marco more than anything, and they are my OTP of OTPs. This story will centralize around them, with side Riren. (LevixEren) This is my second Shingeki no Kyojin Fanfiction, and I hope you enjoy it! Reiner and Marco start out slightly OOC. This is for plot purposes!_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin. If I did, Marco would never have died.**  
_AU: Modern. __**Warning: dark themes such as mentions of rape, abuse, and self harm. Sexual themes that are not intended for younger readers are present. Explicit situations may or may not be present in later chapters. If the coupling JeanxMarco bothers you, don't read! If LevixEren bothers you, please find another story!**_

_One last thing, certain canon deaths are still present. Read to find out which ones. I truly hope you enjoy the story!_

-

The dream happened again. I saw a strangely familiar man with freckles, dead. Half of his face was just... gone. As was half of his body. The rest was charred and covered in a thick substance. You could see into his chest, a cavernous bloodied mess. His eye was darkened with fear and agony. The last seconds of his life had been filled with unspeakable pain. A sob built in my throat, and I didn't know why. I don't know this man. I couldn't. Then why did it hurt so badly? I wailed in agony I couldn't understand as I begged the dead man to still be alive. I banged on his destroyed chest, hitting it over and over. I screamed and screamed a name. My voice was too garbled to understand what I was saying. A broken wail forced itself through my chest when a strangely familiar hand touched my shoulder.

"He's gone, Jean. It's too late."

The alarm went off, forcing me out of my reverie. Sighing, I dragged myself out of bed, knowing that I can't skip work again. I shuffled out of my uncomfortable twin sized bed to walk slowly to the bathroom. Leaning over the sink, I turn the water on and rinse my face. I looked in the mirror at my bare chest; every scar and cut visible on my tanned skin. Another secret I held that no one would ever guess.

It had been so long since I had last seen myself smile or felt anything other than pain. I wake up every morning wondering who I am, not because I can't remember, no, I know all too well my name and my crimes. I wonder who this stranger is with every heart beat in my chest; I find myself turning down a darker path. One I swore to avoid, but seeing death changes a man. Even if it did occur only a dream.

I took a quick shower, trying to fake some happiness for the long day ahead at Trost's Finest Café. My dream was long forgotten before I even walked out the door.

I unhappily settled in my car as I drove the several miles to downtown Trost where my work was located. I wasn't happy to be here, and it was obvious with every move I made. Grumbling quietly to myself, I noticed Eren's car was already here. I cursed my damnable luck as I walked in.

Sure enough, there was Asshole himself waiting on me. He greeted me with his usual snide remark in a voice that grated on my ears, "Hey, Horseface. About fucking time you showed up. I was about to go find you to kick your ass."

Rolling my eyes, I growled out, "Eren, shut the fuck up. I am NOT in the mood for your bullshit. At least I got this job without having to fuck the boss!"

Eren's ocean blue-green eyes flashed with hurt and anger. A wave of regret flooded me momentarily. A low voice lashed out behind me, "What was that, Mr. Kirstein?"

Fuck. Maybe I shouldn't have said that. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Levi, the boss had heard me insult Eren, but I just didn't give a fuck today. Let him say whatever he wanted. I stayed silent as I reached for my apron.

"Well, Mr. Kirstein? What. The. Fuck. Did. You. Say?" Levi snarled, his steel-grey eyes gleamed darkly, his eyebrows fiercely furrowed in anger.

I shrugged and decided that I should attempt to be more civilized from now on. Even if I already knew that there was no point. Still, I sighed, "Nothing, SIR."

Levi smirked and nodded, as if to say, 'damn right you said nothing, you fucking ass of a Horseface.' I moved behind the counter to begin taking orders from customers as they slowly came in. I held a fake smile. Within minutes of me arriving, the place became absolutely packed. Beautiful. Time ticked by, each minute dragging. Somehow, only an hour and a half remained on my shift. I had yet to take a break. Fucking bullshit.

I kept thinking 'fuck everything' as a fake smile became seemingly permanently etched upon my lips. I had to keep appearances up. At the far end of the café I could hear a small group of men talk loudly. They were calling me a faggot and imagining what I liked up my ass. I flinched, and held back the urge to beat the fuck out of them. I realized it was only one of them talking, the other two looking extremely uncomfortable. It was just like high school all over again. Steady- it has to wait just a little longer. Six more hours and I can leave this damn place.

One of the unnecessarily rude men called me over, asking for a refill. I faked a smile and brought the coffee pot over to top his drink off. As I neared the table, freckles became prominent. I flinched slightly, my steps becoming uncertain. Freckles on a tanned face, with dark eyes... My heart ached for reasons I couldn't explain. I had a terrible feeling that he was the man from my dream. I looked carefully at the guys surrounding the man with freckles. One was ridiculously tall with a thin but long face. He was seated next to a shorter and rather overly muscular blond man.

The blond man tapped his cup before turning to the tall one. He had a low voice which wasn't surprising given his build. He said lowly, "I wonder, Bertolt, if we can ever find out who broke into our apartment. It was probably a faggot and his loser of a man."

The taller guy, (Bertolt?) sighed, "Reiner, hush. You know how I feel about that word. Whoever broke in was probably having a difficult time. Why else would they break into a poor college student's apartment?"

The blond sighed and looked down, nodding. The third guy, the only one who hadn't spoken up looked like he felt terrible. I briefly wondered if he had broken in, but looking closer at him, I doubted it. He seemed too innocent to commit a crime like THAT. I refilled Reiner's cup and went to walk away. The freckled guy reached out to tap my wrist. He said in a quiet voice, "Excuse me, sir? Could I trouble you for a refill as well?"

My body froze up at hearing his voice. My chest ached even more fiercely, and I felt so fucking confused. Still, I forced myself to reply, "Of course. It's no trouble at all."

I forced back a sad sound as I refilled his coffee cup. As I moved as if to go back to my station, the guy's finger tapped my wrist again. Looking down at him, he slipped a paper into my hand before the other two could notice. Flashing me a small, but blinding smile, he moved his hand away. Quickly, I moved away from the table, trembling. Eren saw me and rolled his eyes again.

"Horseface, hurry the fu-" Eren began.

"Eren. Kitchen. Now," Levi growled angrily, his brows furrowed further than usual in evident anger.

It was my turn to roll my eyes; I knew what was going to happen. Levi was going to get caught slamming Eren into the nearest wall before biting him. After activities would ensue, twenty to thirty minutes would pass before Eren returned. His face would be flushed, and his eyes would glow. As always, a fresh and dark mark would be extremely visible on his sun-kissed skin. Disgusting, but the norm.

Annie raised a bored eyebrow at me, before mouthing, "Do you need a break?"

I nodded at Annie, letting her know I was DEFINITELY ready for my over due break. I rushed out the back door, hoping to relax for even a brief moment. I looked down at the paper still crumpled in my hand. Opening it, I read the casual scrawl.

_"My name's Marco. I'd love to take you out sometime, so feel free to text me. XXX-XXX-XXXX. Hope to hear from you soon. ;)"_

I took my phone out to quickly add his number. I don't know why I'm doing this, and I'm so confused as to why he seems familiar. But something tells me this is a good idea. I texted the number saying, "_Hi. This is the waiter from inside. I'm Jean. What did you have in mind?"_

After sending the text, I put my phone back in my pocket. I felt my phone quickly vibrate, but I decided to ignore it while I collected my thoughts. Despite an exciting potential for a meeting with the freckled man who turned out to be named Marco, I was still feeling rather low, too low. I pulled my wallet from my back pocket. Opening it, I found my small razor blade. I knew it was wrong for me to continue cutting; someone, somewhere would be worried and they cared, but for now, I didn't give a single fuck. I needed this fucking relief. My chest burned in anticipation of the cut. I lifted my shirt, and dragged the blade down onto my exposed stomach. The bite made me flinch, but I dragged it deeper. I left one, two, three, four deep marks. I pulled the gauze I always kept in my pocket out and padded it carefully onto the cuts. I secured the bandage of sorts with a piece of tape.

My phone vibrated again. Sighing, I pulled it out. Seeing the lit up screen, I groaned. Marco had already texted three times.

_"Hey, Jean. Wow, sounds French. Anyway, I was thinking we could go to the Steakhouse a block and a half from here. My treat?"_

_"It's me again. If you don't want steak, we could go for Italian? I know a great place. Hanji owns it. Tell me what you want."_

_"Jean? Are you even interested? I'd understand if not..."_

I groaned at the last text, quickly typing up my final reply, _"Marco, I'm interested. I don't care where we eat, just NOT at a place Hanji owns. She's scary enough as a customer. God forbid her touch my food! Stick around, I get off in an hour."_

Marco replied within seconds. "_Sounds great, handsome. I'll be the one with freckles."_

I chuckled quietly to myself, unable to fight my smile. Shaking my head, I walked back in to Hell- I mean the café. Reiner and Bertolt were gone, and Marco was still at the booth. Patiently awaiting the end of my shift.  
He called out, "Hey, Jean, do me a favor, and bring me a slice of cherry pie. I'd be forever indebted to you and your pretty face."

My cheeks flushed a dark red as I nodded, rushing to the counter to bring him a slice of pie. Jaeger was back and leaned in to leer, "Ooh. Someone likes Horseface. Go get 'em."

Eren cackled at my shocked expression. I rushed back to Marco with the pie and reprimanded him softly, "Don't say things like that with Eren in the café! It's embarrassing."

Marco grinned and nodded shyly, "Too bad Eren already knows me and what team I play for. He just didnt expect you to respond. He's been texting me about it."

Anger boiled suddenly in my chest. I couldn't explain the angst building. "He. What?!"

Marco wordlessly slid his iPhone over to show me the conversation.  
_"hey, freckled jesus. see anyone u like yet"_  
_"Not really. It's hard to look, though. Reiner and Bertl won't stop talking."_  
_"...Eren. Who's the guy you called 'Horseface'?"_  
_"eww don't be interested in him he's jean"_  
_"Jean, eh? Interesting..."_  
_"ew just ask him out already instead of staring"_  
_"Maybe I will."_  
_"do it"_  
_"wait is jean even gay?"_  
_"I'm about to find out, Eren..."_

My eyes narrowed, and my cheeks flushed red again. My vision turned red. I was about to stomp away when Marco stopped me.

"Look, I'm sorry about that. Eren's... A handful. I still want to take you out... If you're interested?" he whispered softly.

I nodded, "No matter how mad I am at Asshole, I'll still go on a date. I agreed to it already."

The smile I received was blinding. I couldn't believe how happy my response made him.

The rest of my shift passed in a blink. Marco was still waiting on me, his eyes following me with every move I made. I moved toward the front door and nodded at him. He smiled and walked towards me.

"Ready to go, Jean?" he asked lowly.

"I guess I am, Freckles." I replied with a playful smirk.

_A/N: I hope you enjoyed Chapter 1! I hope to have Chapter 2 posted soon._

_I'd love to hear from you, so please leave reviews! Reviews make me update faster! Thanks for the read, guys. (:_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I hope you like this chapter better than the first one.**  
**Disclaimer: Do I own SnK? Nope... I don't. .-. Do I wish I did? Yes and no. Yes, because hello. SHINGEKI NO KYOJIN. No, because then I'd be responsible for deaths and no one wants that.**  
**AU: Modern.**

_**Warning: dark themes such as mentions of rape, abuse, and self harm. Sexual themes that are not intended for younger readers are present. Explicit situations may or may not be present in later chapters. If the coupling JeanxMarco bothers you, don't read! Certain canon deaths still happen. Read to find out who.**_  
**Let's get the show on the road!**

I kept looking over at Marco, trying to figure out what it was that broke my heart. He's just a handsome stranger, but my chest tightened painfully every time he looked at me. Marco seemed too familiar. I swore I knew every freckle on his face, and that's impossible. I just met him. When he smiled, it felt like my world was put upside down. It wasn't turned upside down, no. It felt like someone had taken the world known as Jean and picked it up only to be set down the wrong way. It's such a weird feeling, to begin falling before you even know the person's last name, or anything else. It's... It's... I can't describe the feeling of fear and something more. I found myself wanting to stare at Marco more and more. What the fuck am I doing? I'm supposed to moon over Mikasa even though I have no chance, not stare at a man!

Even if the man does have nice freckles... And a nice body.. I just know he has abs... His shoulders. Fuck. I'm pretty sure that I could get so fucking hard just looking at his broad shoulders. Not to mention those hips. Fuck! The things I want to do to him. I would ravish this man. Make slow sweet love. Worship every fucking freckle on his perfect body.

Oh, god. I did not think that. No. No. Noo. Calm yourself. No erections. We're only going out to eat. I don't need to scare him off by wanting to fuck his brains out right now. ...Or would he fuck me senseless? Force me down onto the bed... Roughly biting me... Commanding me to follow his instructions... Would he talk dirty to me..? I felt my cock twitch and begin to rise as my mind wandered. Fuck. So much for no erections, Jean. Good going, idiot. I groan softly to myself, reprimanding my every thought about this man.

"Jean? Are you even still here?" Marco began softly, "Jean!" he repeated, his angelic voice louder now.

I snapped out of my thoughts to see Marco staring at me. I bit my bottom lip and felt my cheeks heat up. I hadn't heard a single word he had said. I looked away from his dark eyes that threatened to drown me so I could speak.

"S-sorry, M-Marco. I got lost in thought," I explained sheepishly.

Marco rolled his eyes at me with a soft smile on his face. I found myself staring at his perfect lips as he parted them to speak. He repeated what he had said, "I was asking where you wanted to eat, Jean. So tell me, where do you want to eat?"

"I really don't care where we eat as long as I can watch those lips wrap around something. Even if it is only a fork," I replied, my voice unusually husky.

My eyes had been fixed on his lips, so what I said hadn't registered with me until it was too late to take it back. Uh oh. I might have offended him...  
Marco's face was flushed a dark red at my words. A smirk slowly playing on his perfect lips. I shivered, secretly wondering what could possibly be going through his mind to give him such a smirk...

"Comments like that make me almost want to skip dinner completely. Sadly, for you, I'm interested in getting to know the shameless flirt before taking him home," Marco leered.

H-home? He wanted me at home? Fuck, this is not what I expected to hear. I can feel my pulse quicken at the mere thought of going home with Marco, the freckled god. Yeah, my erection's not going away any time soon.

We laughed as we got to his car. He unlocked it before opening my door. I smirked at him. It was cute, the way he made me the escorted one. I suppose it's because he invited me on this date.

It turns out Marco's a terrible driver. He almost killed us four times. Good god. He'd rush through each turn, and he NEVER stopped at a red light. How hasn't he been arrested yet? Oh, right. Fucking perfect Freckled god...

"M-Marco, slow down! Stop! You passed Hanji's restaurant four times now!" I screamed fearfully, my voice cracking.

At this point, I didn't care that my fucking voice broke. I didn't care that we were going to the one place I said I didn't want to go. I just wanted to LIVE. Marco just laughed it off, and told me to calm down. He finally stopped and parked perfectly in a spot. Why the fuck not? Stupid perfect man. I found myself smiling at him fondly, even if he did just try to kill me. He opened my door before I could even blink. He even held his hand out so I could grab it for help out of his car. I thought about complaining, but Jesus, I was just too happy to be alive.

We walked in to Hanji's restaurant and much to my dismay, we were spotted. After an hour of squeals, joy, and a smirking Marco, I begged him to take me home. He told me to drive, so I decided to switch the treatment. I treated him like a dainty princess and helped him with everything. I drove to my house so I could go home. He smiled softly at me when I parked the car. Leaning in close to me, he smiled cheekily.

"Jean... Do you know how much I want to kiss you right now?" Marco murmured softly.

Instead of answering, I kissed him gently. One kiss led to more as he became more and more open with his affection. His tongue swiped my bottom lip, causing me to moan into his mouth, my lips parting. I could feel my cock begin to throb again, and I couldn't let that happen. I needed to think. I pulled away gasping.

"M-Marco... N-no more tonight... I can't think..." I whispered, my thoughts still clouded.

He smiled and nodded, kissing me one more time. "Good night, Jean. I'll see you soon, yes?"

I nodded enthusiastically as my cheeks flushed. The kiss resonated strangely with me. Like... It was familiar. I pushed those thoughts away as I leaned forward to capture those perfectly imperfect chapped lips one last time. We kissed briefly before I reluctantly pulled away to go inside.

"Good night, Jean," Marco whispered one more time.

"G-good night, M-Marco..." I stammered in reply.

Taking one last look at him, I unlocked my door, and stepped inside. The moment he was gone, I walked to the kitchen, and grabbed my whiskey bottle. I downed several shots as I regained my composure.

I sat in my car for hours after Marco had left. Didn't even bother to go back inside. Don't want to be alone. I still don't know why my heart fucking hurts every time I look at him. I want it to stop. Stop. Stop. STOP. I could feel my heart quicken.

My heart began racing even faster as I felt my breathing escalate. I couldn't breathe anymore. Fuck. I can't breathe. Can't. Think. I can't do anything. I feel like I'm dying. Fuck. I'm so scared. Is it wrong to want to die? It can't be. Not when it ends this. I tried telling myself no. I really did, but each passing moment, the temptation grew. I ended up giving in. I reach for the knife I keep in my glove compartment, and cut deep into my arm. I cut over and over. I had to stop this pain. I had to. I HAD to stop the thoughts. The past couldn't catch up to me. My dreams weren't real. No. No. No.

"Fuck!" I groaned as the pain made me slowly numb. I drug the knife one more time into my arm. It felt too deep. I whimpered in fear. Everything's going dark. So dark. I can't... I... With one last effort, I call Marco.

"Help..." is all I manage to say when he picks up before everything goes black.

[ Flashback. Year 852 After Fall]

Hours could have passed for all I know when I could finally think. I opened my eyes and tried to relax with deep breaths. I vaguely heard someone scream my name, but my body wouldn't let me move. It hurt. Every single movement was a stabbing pain in my soul and my body. My mind started emptying itself to nothing but Marco. He was dead. He was gone. He was nothing more than a figment in my mind now. I had carried his body to the pyre myself. Never again would I see him smile. He was left there. Alone. Dead. For days. DAYS. No one noticed him. No one found him. I wish it had been anyone else. ANYONE ELSE. Marco... Marco... Why..?

"Jean, snap out of it!" Eren growled angrily, slapping me across the face.

It didn't even phase me. Nothing could get through. Half of him was gone. He had died days ago. I couldn't save him. I was useless. I am useless. I don't deserve to be here. I should just give up. I want to die.

"Marco..." I sobbed quietly.

Armin rested his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it gently. He knew how badly it hurt. He was close to him too. He lost a friend. The only difference? I lost my best friend, and the man I had fallen for. He was gone. Gone. All by himself. He died on his own. It could have been days ago. I can't handle this anymore. It hurts so fucking badly. Why couldn't it have been me? Marco was meant to be a leader! I had nothing! Nothing! Except... Except him.

[Present day Marco POV]

All I could think about was the tender, burning kisses I shared with Jean. I wonder if he remembers... I wonder... Are they just dreams... Or did they really happen? My phone started ringing, and I looked down at it. I sat up in excitement and answered.  
"Hey, Jean-" I began.

"Help.." Jean whispered.

"Jean? What's wrong? What happened? Hello?" I said desperately, "Can you hear me..?"

"Fuck," I whispered.

What could have happened? Oh god. Is he okay? He needs to be okay. I ran to my car and drove as fast as I could to his house. I knocked frantically at his door before trying to open it. Locked. Fuck! The garage door was slightly open, so I slipped under it. Rushing to his car, I saw him lying in the back seat. Covered in blood.

"Oh, god... Jean... What have you done?" I cry out.

"Jean... Don't you remember me?" I whisper one more time.

**A/N: That's all for now! *Mwahahaha* I hope this slightly shorter chapter makes up for the hiatus! A lot of unexpected things have happened recently, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter. The rest will be longer, but this one was cut short on purpose! So sorry!**

**The point of this chapter is honestly to show how when someone cuts, they don't always have control. This may seem really unrealistic to you, but things like this really do happen**.

**I'd love to hear from you, so please leave reviews! Reviews make me update faster! (Usually.) Thanks for the read, guys. (:**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: So not sorry about the cliffhanger. :P Some questions will be answered, but not many!**  
**Before I get to the the chapter, I wanted to take a moment to thank two incredible writers that work on stories here on ! **  
**Skorpiokagamine: Hey, there. I'm glad we became friends! You encourage me to become a better writer. Thank you, love. (:**  
**Punk Rock Kitsune: Thank you, for not only reviewing my story, but for being my friend and encouraging me! You're so talented and supportive. I'm happy to know you!**

**I highly suggest you check out their profile for their stories! (: They have awesome stories to read!**

**AU: Modern. **

_**Warning: dark themes such as mentions of rape, abuse, and self harm. Sexual themes that are not intended for younger readers are present. Explicit situations may or may not be present in later chapters. If the coupling JeanxMarco bothers you, don't read! Certain canon deaths still happen. Read to find out who! If LevixEren isn't one of your ships, this may not be the story for you.**_

**Oh, one final thing, this chapter contains parts told from a new POV. Reasons as to why will be uncovered in the chapter. ;)**

**Anyway, onto the chapter! Please enjoy!**

[ Flashback Year 852 ATF. Battle of Trost ]  
[ POV Jean ]

This is the day. We retake the wall! Asshole, I mean Eren, will do it. He has to. Humanity needs him to. If not, our fallen comrades' deaths will have been for nothing. Thomas... Mina... I couldn't live with myself if I lived a soft life within the wall while people died. I want to live, but I have a responsibility. Not only for myself, but to save Marco too. If I lost him, I'd give up every piece of humanity I have to avenge him. Marco is my best friend. I can't imagine life without him. Before we can save the walls, I need to get out of bed, but so does everyone else. Looking up through the window, I notice that it's not even dawn yet. I don't have to be up yet. Well, damn. Like always, I woke up too early. Today, however, left a taste of fear in my mouth. I keep waking up to check if Marco's still here. Of course he isn't gone, and he never will be, but I'm still so afraid.

Rolling over, I look at a still sleeping Marco on the bed next to mine. I see every freckle outlined perfectly on his peaceful face. I find myself moving slowly towards his bed so as to get a better look. I find myself carefully moving off my bed to kneel by Marco. My eyes slowly drift closed as I lean in and place a soft, almost nonexistent kiss on his perfect lips. It was my tender way to promise him I'll stay right here by his side until the day I die.

"Oh, Marco... I'm so scared. What if I lose you today?" I whisper quietly, talking to myself.

I bury my face into his shoulder, unable to handle the idea of losing him. I feel his strong arms wrap around me.

"Shhhh... I'll be okay, Jean. I promise. I love you, and you love me. That alone will give me strength to keep coming back to you," Marco whispered, his hands stroking my hair. "You'd keep coming back to me. Wouldn't you, Jean? No matter how many deaths we had?" his voice was even softer as he spoke this time.

"Of course I will, Marco. I promise that no matter what happens, I will return to you. You're my everything. Who would I be without you?" I replied with a tenderness lacing my voice.

Marco didn't respond, instead, he squeezed me. I looked up at him to see fear and love in his dark eyes. We both had a horrible feeling. What if the other didn't return? No, I couldn't think that way. Neither could he. Our strength is in the other's love. He'll be fine. After all, I trust in our squad. No one would betray another.

Humanity can't fall. Not today. I need to help avenge the fallen, and save the innocents. It's my sworn duty, and it's one I'll follow until the very end.

"Jean."

"Marco?"

Marco leaned down and kissed me hard. His lips were tender, but the kiss seared me to the bone. Every fear, worry, silent sob racked through him into my body through our lips. We slowly moved into a deeper kiss. My hands moved to cup the back of his head and the side of his face. He tightened his grip on me as the kiss deepened further. I pulled away first. Tears building in my eyes.

"I love you, Marco. Remember that, if nothing else," I told him fiercely.

"Jean, I would would never forget such a vital thing. I love you more. I'll find you after the battle. Whether it be today, or a thousand years from now. I promise that I will always find my way back to you," Marco sighed.

We leaned in for another deep kiss, his hands slowly moving to cup my cheek. Tears began to fall as I pulled him into me. I was desperate for him to be against me. He pushed me onto his bed beneath him. His hips rolled deeply into mine. Hissing at the friction, I rutted my hips into his for a deeper feeling.

"J-Jean..!" Marco groaned into my ear.

"Fuck me... Just fuck me," I moaned into his neck.

Marco's eyes widened then darkened. He smiled softly, and I knew I was fucked. Literally. Moving off of me, Marco yanked me off the bed and toward the showers.

With the shower providing cover for us, Marco slammed his hips into mine. I groaned and bared my throat to him as he rolled harder. His teeth grazing my neck as my eyes rolled into my the back of my head. My nails dug into his broad back. Desperate for more, I pulled away to stare at him.

"F-fuck... C-can't handle this... M-Marco!" I moaned quietly.

"You want me to fuck you?" Marco sighed darkly in my ear.

I nodded and whimpered desperately, my amber eyes hooded with lust as I forced Marco to look at me. His dark eyes were blown with desire. He leaned in and kissed me hard.

Of course, that's when everyone decided to start stirring. I'd love to tell you that I got laid today, but I don't like lying. Sighing, Marco and I pulled away from each other to get ready for the biggest battle we'll ever face. At least, until we find the source of these bastard titans.

[ Flasback 852 ATF. Battle of Trost ]  
[ POV Marco ]

Oh god. There are titans everywhere. I can't handle this. Every time one dies, it seems like four take its place. I have to survive. I have to get back to Jean. If I die, who'll show him how to become a good leader? I need him to be okay. We both have to be okay. But will we be? Today, tomorrow, and the final stand... Will I be by his side when it matters most? I hope so. He needs me more than I thought... He cried this morning. Jean doesn't cry. God, my heart aches every time I imagine him crying. It's too painful, but so breathtaking. The amber gaze turns molten with raw pain..  
Focus. Two titans to my left. Comrades nowhere in sight. Damn. Okay. I can do this! Trusting my instincts, I let the 3D maneuver gear take me to the nape of the neck of the first titan. Slashing through it perfectly, I attach myself to the next titan to kill this one as well. I try to slash through it, but my blade breaks. Fuck! I discard my old blades, and pull fresh out just in time before the titan reaches for me. I slash through its neck deeply. I pulled away to the top of a building. Gasping desperately for breath. I stand proud of what I've done.

*Crack*  
"Wh-what the hell was that?" I screamed aloud.

A new titan, the likes of which I have never seen, appeared before me. My eyes widened. I knew this was the end. I was going to die, and there was nothing I could do. The titan sauntered towards me. The soulless blue eyes lock in on my fear. Could Titans have blonde hair? I-it looks like a female. I thought that there were only male Titans? I started cursing as I backed up. We went on like this for what seemed like hours. It took a step forward, and I stepped back. Nervously, I ran my tan hand through my undercut. I had a sinking feeling with every moment passing. This could be my last day alive, and I wouldn't be able to do anything about it. The titan's head tilted slightly as it stared at me. A look similar to a smirk greeted me when the titan stepped even closer to me.

I covered my eyes desperately as steam and a crack like thunder broke out. When I blinked and looked ahead of me, Annie was walking towards me.

Annie. Not the Titan. Annie. My comrade. My friend. Annie, the girl who never left Reiner's and Bertl's sides. Annie.

"Marco, why did it have to be you? I have no qualms with you," Annie sighed mournfully.

"A-Annie, please don't hurt me! I-I have to make it back to Jean... Please," I sobbed.

Annie looked devastated as she stepped closer to me. She wrapped her arms around me in a hug. It would be comforting, if the situation wasn't so terrifying. My eyes went wide as I gasped when I felt a knife pierced my back.

Gasping and gurgling, my eyes fluttered shut as my vision slowly turned dark.

"I'm sorry, Marco... I didn't want it to be you. I hope you forgive me in the next life..." I heard Annie sigh quietly.

[ Present. 1954. Insane Asylum ]  
[POV Marco]

I've been here for years. I face the same things every day, and I know that I'm just one hour away from taking my life. I can't imagine living anymore. Not without him. Jean. Jean. Oh, Jean.

It's wrong they say, for me to love a man. Seven years ago, I was found in a compromising position with the love of my life, my Jean, my everything, in a bar bathroom. We had been drinking, and it went a little far. The bartender heard a moan, so he went to check it out. He found me on my knees giving him a blowjob. The bartender started cursing and calling us sick. He drew out a gun, and the next thing I know, Jean's on the ground bleeding. I screamed. And screamed. I clutched his bloodied body tightly to me. I kissed him over and over. Whispering that I loved him.

"I love... I... Love... You... T-" Jean wheezed as he gave in to the pain.

"Oh, Jean... Not again..." I sobbed, "Please.. Stay. Live... For me. Please, Jean!"

It was too late. He was gone. I'm alone.

Tears roll down my cheeks as I remember how much of his blood soaked me when Jean died. When my parents found out, they decided that it would be for the best if I was put into the Trost Insane Asylum for the Disturbed. Seven years later, I'm ready to join my Jean. I'm ready to die.

Standing on my bed, I take my belt and tie it to the pipes going through the ceiling. I smile with relief and agony as I picture Jean's perfect smile. I'll see it again soon.

"Maybe next life... We can be together at last..." I whispered brokenly as I put my head through the loop.

Stepping from the bed, I scream one final time as I see my life fade again.

**A/N: I thought about making the chapter longer, but I changed my mind. I wanted to cut it here. Is Jean alive. Or dead?! :P Find out next time on... YOU'RE STILL HUMAN! ...wait Wut. I hope you liked it! Leave a review, please!**


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